well, well. the 1° was cringe, to some extent. i got 3 gluten-free beers, ~ 1 liter. drunk while listening to Suzanne Ciani's CIANI/ORKEST - which at some point put me crying, both from wishing to be listening this with Buzz (when i thought i found a great album i always listened with him) but as well because who i am
at night time i asked about the past of my dad, as well some events of my childhood. i still have some fragments of memories when i was 4 years old. i go to sleep early. this time wondering if i ever didn't oscillated between wanting and not wanting Giovanna i would stand a chance. i swipe on Tinder and by finding 2 girls i really got interested, for the 1° time the feeling of maybe even finding someone to know and possibly love, i may will never forget her. i succumb to the feeling of wishing to be normal. no questions about the quo when i was a teenager. video-games as a hobby and whatever else i chose in university. a standard life. maybe this way she would try to love me
when i found the cyber-shot stick and ran the recovery software, i was lucky to find some office documents by the time i was a teenager (high-school) and what i wrote while traveling hitchhiking. to some extend. as at some point i gave up from my little computer and started typing on my smartphone, which this one i'll never recover stuff from. the screen broke and so much time has passed that i have no idea which Google account i used there. there's also the point i wouldn't be able to go through the lock screen if i ever manage to find a battery and a screen replacement. maybe it just doesn't work anymore. i'm not worried. today i'll spend the day talking with my agent (so many long tests checking systems to conform qob to 60 FPS under a Vega 8 GPU) and reading old stuff. i already went through my high-school and i sit around 1/3 of my trip. what a self entitled guy i was. i'll delete these texts both from the perspective i'm ashamed to be who i was (i wasn't a bad person, at least i never tried to but my inner thoughts are so different than what they are now. i feel much humble) and for the lack of any artistic work there. it was just my unfiltered thoughts. if i'm not mistaken when i started to write/type i never judged anything going through my head. nowadays i guess i'm much less impulsive and the amount of mischievous ideas or pointless critic (as someone who's bitter for the sake of being bitter or unreasonable unaware of the many motivations and biological impulses each living thing has) is almost zero by now. the only person i would think about harming today by a pointless critic is myself. if i'll ever hurt myself intentionally. my Portuguese was clean and extensive. i don't know if i can ever type with that amount of internal cohesion and grammar. it's been a while since i write anything personal on that language. my last hundred of thousands of words were dedicated to qob, system and rarely a [vent] check just to inform myself where i'm in contrast of an imagined, once lived, happy state. i premeditate nothing much will change if i ever make money with my video-game. with who i'll socialize in my adult life. my friends are long gone and even taking a sabbatical will not lead me to adult people with free time. that window was around my 20s. the doom sucks. some days ago i read about someone self-reflecting that by having a job, a partner and kids, they would have around 35 up to 40 encounters with their best friends group till they die because the mismatching routine. 35 meetings. since i didn't updated myself of what's like to have friends with my age, for me that's like half a year of living while studying the first grades in university
redundancy is the weed i gotta remove from my writing. i guess reflecting on this is the best way to at least experience the topic touched in the above paragraph. on my old texts i typed about the need to be recognized and at least that i got in a reasonable way. by a decent artwork. i never typed to anyone beyond myself on those days. once i had a Tumblr and a Wordpress blog but those were short, not personal but only bitter critics of an average psychonaut enthusiast teenager who thought by being apart of the main religion, reading some philosophy books and using some illegal drugs gave them wisdom. at least now i can wonder about theological concepts in an agnostic way and giving what social-media became, i'm sure i'll delete this blog if qob ever gets famous. it's already scary knowing i have a thousand readers or the ~ 10k unique visitors number is deadly wrong. you'll never never know about what will succeed in my personal life if i ever make money with technology. i didn't started this post with this idea but now it sounds solid. this is my last post here. i'll delay the kigram project as the dedicated mesh being too clunk and a bluetooth interface for showing values, reasonable but open to be extended with voice commands and some goodies like voice set timers and recipe research and follow up for system as an app. hahaha
i also started a store as my last try of kickstarting a company which teaches/employ minorities/teens about electronics. i have been seeling these for 2 years by now and you can check some samples. initially i'll use the money to fund tickets for game festivals (if i ever get in) as i'm not comfortable with the idea of asking money for these from my parents or family. if there's a demand for employing 1 person, i'll dive straight into the mission. shipping prices for USA at least from the Brazilian courier service, says the tax is included. i couldn't link dynamic prices because for using mail's API i had to pay a fee and for real: fuck my corrupt country. i don't like the idea of contributing here to the point my plan when/if qob makes money is: declare a definitive exit from Brazil with my bank account without a dime, use my EU passport to open an Estonian OÜ and then figure out if i can live on a frugal life in a sailboat or maybe some commune who knows where. i can already predict baking cookies and gluten-free pasta to my old neighbors as the last ultimatum of eating my loneliness. fuck you Brazil politicians, despite if the right or left party wons the election next week. you both rot in corruption. i know that seeling only a keyboard with a error on print isn't a good start but i have 2 dactyl on the making. i expect building 1 keyboard each 2 weeks or whatever. i'll also check out refund of shipping prices that got more expensive than what Correios told it would cost
thank-you for reading. this blog was a mix of an escape for my loneliness, at some point a weird marketing act for qob, a way of you know me as i believe companies should have ethics and an about or mission statement may be not enough and at least i secured you of who i'm and what i'm looking for. i also close this blog (future domain where i set happort as a company that produces qob) informing that GIOVANNA IF YOUR READING THIS, BE PRETTY AWARE I STILL LONG FOR YOU. AFTER ALL THIS EARLY DOMAIN CREATION STARTED AS A FLIRT FOR YOU. i'm not a saint as i still have my Tinder and i check daily, despite the years i got 2 matches: one for a girl outside Brazil, which unmatched after i told her i was spooking the GPS signal (so i didn't had to pay premium for using the passport mode) and an art director here from our city which after setting a date for Saturday and never answering, i unmatched. you don't know how my body reacts to think about meeting and getting to know you. i was thrown away into heaven when you grabbed me by the hand that day. i'm sorry for not talking about it on the spot. my esteem was low and you were too hot but now i know about firefighter clothes, sea shells and stoicism. thank-you for reading this blog once again, reader. the RSS will still work when i release this video-game who knows when. i also changed some stuff like i'll use Steam and put a price tag on it but i'll offer it here for free via torrent and direct downloads for people using Linux and maybe Android, because fuck-you Windows and OSX users. pay me ~ 15 usd and have fun with the bots and your friends away from me 🖤
at night time i asked about the past of my dad, as well some events of my childhood. i still have some fragments of memories when i was 4 years old. i go to sleep early. this time wondering if i ever didn't oscillated between wanting and not wanting Giovanna i would stand a chance. i swipe on Tinder and by finding 2 girls i really got interested, for the 1° time the feeling of maybe even finding someone to know and possibly love, i may will never forget her. i succumb to the feeling of wishing to be normal. no questions about the quo when i was a teenager. video-games as a hobby and whatever else i chose in university. a standard life. maybe this way she would try to love me
when i found the cyber-shot stick and ran the recovery software, i was lucky to find some office documents by the time i was a teenager (high-school) and what i wrote while traveling hitchhiking. to some extend. as at some point i gave up from my little computer and started typing on my smartphone, which this one i'll never recover stuff from. the screen broke and so much time has passed that i have no idea which Google account i used there. there's also the point i wouldn't be able to go through the lock screen if i ever manage to find a battery and a screen replacement. maybe it just doesn't work anymore. i'm not worried. today i'll spend the day talking with my agent (so many long tests checking systems to conform qob to 60 FPS under a Vega 8 GPU) and reading old stuff. i already went through my high-school and i sit around 1/3 of my trip. what a self entitled guy i was. i'll delete these texts both from the perspective i'm ashamed to be who i was (i wasn't a bad person, at least i never tried to but my inner thoughts are so different than what they are now. i feel much humble) and for the lack of any artistic work there. it was just my unfiltered thoughts. if i'm not mistaken when i started to write/type i never judged anything going through my head. nowadays i guess i'm much less impulsive and the amount of mischievous ideas or pointless critic (as someone who's bitter for the sake of being bitter or unreasonable unaware of the many motivations and biological impulses each living thing has) is almost zero by now. the only person i would think about harming today by a pointless critic is myself. if i'll ever hurt myself intentionally. my Portuguese was clean and extensive. i don't know if i can ever type with that amount of internal cohesion and grammar. it's been a while since i write anything personal on that language. my last hundred of thousands of words were dedicated to qob, system and rarely a [vent] check just to inform myself where i'm in contrast of an imagined, once lived, happy state. i premeditate nothing much will change if i ever make money with my video-game. with who i'll socialize in my adult life. my friends are long gone and even taking a sabbatical will not lead me to adult people with free time. that window was around my 20s. the doom sucks. some days ago i read about someone self-reflecting that by having a job, a partner and kids, they would have around 35 up to 40 encounters with their best friends group till they die because the mismatching routine. 35 meetings. since i didn't updated myself of what's like to have friends with my age, for me that's like half a year of living while studying the first grades in university
redundancy is the weed i gotta remove from my writing. i guess reflecting on this is the best way to at least experience the topic touched in the above paragraph. on my old texts i typed about the need to be recognized and at least that i got in a reasonable way. by a decent artwork. i never typed to anyone beyond myself on those days. once i had a Tumblr and a Wordpress blog but those were short, not personal but only bitter critics of an average psychonaut enthusiast teenager who thought by being apart of the main religion, reading some philosophy books and using some illegal drugs gave them wisdom. at least now i can wonder about theological concepts in an agnostic way and giving what social-media became, i'm sure i'll delete this blog if qob ever gets famous. it's already scary knowing i have a thousand readers or the ~ 10k unique visitors number is deadly wrong. you'll never never know about what will succeed in my personal life if i ever make money with technology. i didn't started this post with this idea but now it sounds solid. this is my last post here. i'll delay the kigram project as the dedicated mesh being too clunk and a bluetooth interface for showing values, reasonable but open to be extended with voice commands and some goodies like voice set timers and recipe research and follow up for system as an app. hahaha
i also started a store as my last try of kickstarting a company which teaches/employ minorities/teens about electronics. i have been seeling these for 2 years by now and you can check some samples. initially i'll use the money to fund tickets for game festivals (if i ever get in) as i'm not comfortable with the idea of asking money for these from my parents or family. if there's a demand for employing 1 person, i'll dive straight into the mission. shipping prices for USA at least from the Brazilian courier service, says the tax is included. i couldn't link dynamic prices because for using mail's API i had to pay a fee and for real: fuck my corrupt country. i don't like the idea of contributing here to the point my plan when/if qob makes money is: declare a definitive exit from Brazil with my bank account without a dime, use my EU passport to open an Estonian OÜ and then figure out if i can live on a frugal life in a sailboat or maybe some commune who knows where. i can already predict baking cookies and gluten-free pasta to my old neighbors as the last ultimatum of eating my loneliness. fuck you Brazil politicians, despite if the right or left party wons the election next week. you both rot in corruption. i know that seeling only a keyboard with a error on print isn't a good start but i have 2 dactyl on the making. i expect building 1 keyboard each 2 weeks or whatever. i'll also check out refund of shipping prices that got more expensive than what Correios told it would cost
thank-you for reading. this blog was a mix of an escape for my loneliness, at some point a weird marketing act for qob, a way of you know me as i believe companies should have ethics and an about or mission statement may be not enough and at least i secured you of who i'm and what i'm looking for. i also close this blog (future domain where i set happort as a company that produces qob) informing that GIOVANNA IF YOUR READING THIS, BE PRETTY AWARE I STILL LONG FOR YOU. AFTER ALL THIS EARLY DOMAIN CREATION STARTED AS A FLIRT FOR YOU. i'm not a saint as i still have my Tinder and i check daily, despite the years i got 2 matches: one for a girl outside Brazil, which unmatched after i told her i was spooking the GPS signal (so i didn't had to pay premium for using the passport mode) and an art director here from our city which after setting a date for Saturday and never answering, i unmatched. you don't know how my body reacts to think about meeting and getting to know you. i was thrown away into heaven when you grabbed me by the hand that day. i'm sorry for not talking about it on the spot. my esteem was low and you were too hot but now i know about firefighter clothes, sea shells and stoicism. thank-you for reading this blog once again, reader. the RSS will still work when i release this video-game who knows when. i also changed some stuff like i'll use Steam and put a price tag on it but i'll offer it here for free via torrent and direct downloads for people using Linux and maybe Android, because fuck-you Windows and OSX users. pay me ~ 15 usd and have fun with the bots and your friends away from me 🖤